March on

Missed a couple walks in March, but not too damn many. Go me. Both at the beginning of the month, now that I think about it, when I had a three-day headache and missed a yoga class too. Missed one later too, I think. But I walked even on a day when I may not have actually gotten out of bed before midafternoon.

The headaches seem to be related to the double-dose of wellbutrin I've been taking since January, under doctor's orders. As I have mentioned before, every so often this gives me a damnable headache, which goes away if I skip a day, or just take a lower dosage (since I still have some of those on hand). I kinda skipped a day by sheer disorganization, Friday I think it was, and averted another full-blown headache that was creeping up on me. The take-away from this is that they seem to be coming only every three or four weeks, and if I can control that so easily, I can go with it. More precise scheduling would be, well, at least awfully scientifical.

It's taken me how many years to remember to take the morning meds in the morning. For a creature of habit, I am not very. Chalk it up to early training, that made me compliant and flexible, which is handy on the road. But I digress. We've got a lot to get through here.

I also missed another yoga class, so I've only had two with Susi this month. That's where an irregular schedule turns into a sleep disorder, when I can't get out of the house by nine a.m. but sleep right through. Better than not sleeping, the other doctor would say. My yoga practice has fallen off too, and my shoulder is still owie since I tried keeping up with that other yoga teacher. Mostly I've been feeling like lying on the floor. So, I can do that. It's okay.

Except for the regular bouts of feeling like a waste of space on the planet, who has never gotten it together to actually pull on those bootstraps and make something of all my wasted potential. Bootstraps located in 1969, according to my notes. Everyone's supposed to be able to stand on their own two feet (ablist much?) and follow their own muse to become a completely free-standing ego structure that markets itself successfully too. But that trick has never worked for me, and at this point in my life it would be folly to expect that condition to change. When I was getting more feedback from the fanzine fans, I wrote more fanzine stuff. When I hang with the poets, that's a thing I could do, and they would listen to me at least once a month, and that was good. For twenty-some years I had the calligraphy art fair group organizing my production and study of artworks, and that was a thing I could do, sure, doesn't everybody? although I never quite got the hang of the proper professional marketing of the artist persona. But I can't do any of it on my own. So I'm defective and damaged. My full genius will never be realized.

I don't just need a personal assistant, although that sounds nice: as I have often observed, I need a boss, something I am not very good at doing for myself. I'm okay with being the production slave, I've very hard-working and industrious given a bit of direction, but I need a production manager. Clone me! clone me, Dr Memory! And then if I'm going to have time not to say mental focus to actually design and write stuff I need a marketing director too to make the website and design the marketing materials and mail all that stuff off to where ever it is I don't really care to spend the time finding the actual clients or customers or publishers (and explaining what I charge for services or inventory) (that will be $1620 with the 10% discount for not arguing) or whoever it is that are not beating a path to my door because, let's face it, however wide my interests, better mousetraps are not my thing. I do have a whole line of other things.

This is all by way of saying, I am rather more interested now in other goals than the basic body maintenance plan, although that still needs some work. So I may be moving on to another blog for my blogging activity, back to LiveJournal, and/or on to Park Inspections. Save the planet, collect the set.

Actually didn't miss any

I haven't been posting. Where was I? Oh yeah so we walked last Friday. Then I walked Saturday like around the neighborhood, not too long. I forget. I have some notes here, how pitiful is that? making notes for the blog? and then either the stopwatch wasn't working or I forgot to use it or whatever. Clocks are not useful if you don't use them. Yeah. It's been nice and sunny for the most part though, and not too cold if you're wearing your woolen longies.

Sunday we went out to Cherokee Marsh and walked on the ski trails, walked around for a couple hours. I took pictures for Facebook and had all these observations but, yeah, right. Monday I walked over to Monroe St and spent an hour and 34 minutes, counting short stops at the coffeeshop and the zoo but not the library or Trader Joe's, the usual 45 minutes each way. Tuesday I had a long walk around the neighborhood over to Olin Turville, and then the Chakra House yoga class with Jon.

Today I had my first yoga class of the new session at Dean West, where Susi explained without even me asking how I had hurt my arm doing the Warrior 2 pose in the other class, which is a thing you can do. And other stuff. I have an ice pack on it now. Legs hurting Monday, maybe the snow conditions at Cherokee, better now, yadda yadda.

But after I got home and had rested a bit I walked over to Karen's and had tea, about twenty minutes each way. So I'm still at it.